Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Am I being too hard on myself?

Since my last post I have missed a few more days of practice here and there, and it made me wonder,
Is it because I don't really like my practice?
Or is it because I would rather practice something different every day?
Or, is it simply because I am lazy?

Last Thursday we went away camping for five days, and came back late last night. So I took that opportunity to take a break from this challenge and stop beating myself up for it.
Thinking about it again today, my answer is - yes.  I have been waaaay too hard on myself.
I set this challenge for myself in a way that is overlooking anything else that I am doing for myself, which resulted in me feeling as if I'm failing.

When I set this challenge up, I had the goal of "doing the things I know are good for me". And from my long list of possibilities I have chosen to practice Qi Gong.
I wanted to proactively practice what makes me feel better. And from all of the things I could have chosen, I picked Qi Gong for it's ability to make me feel more connected, more energetic and more vital. Because I thought that these are the qualities I need more of at the moment, to actually be doing all the things I want to be doing in my day to day life.

But then I pre-decided which exercises I will do every day for this challenge, and didn't give myself the freedom of changing it up.
I had the idea that it would have to be a self practice, which I will do by myself, without the guidance of a teacher or a video, and nothing else counts.

So after a good break from my challenge, I have decided that my challenge is actually to practice some sort of Qi Gong every day, and it could be a guided practice, a group practice, a yoga practice or meditation.
Because what I truly want is a daily mindful practice, in different ways and shapes.

So what do you think?
Was my challenge too hard before?
Am I copping out here?...
Should I just stick with it?

Looking forward to hearing from you :-)

Are you doing your practice mummy

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Oh My Gosh I Forgot Again

What is going on here??..
I probably forgot to do my Qi gong practice again yesterday because I don't have a regular hour for it.
Also, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I wake up at 5am to teach yoga, and these were the days I forgot...
Besides, Tuesday is my long day by myself with Razi, and it's no wonder that by the end of it I don't stop to think about what else I want to do today before I pass out.

My conclusion is to practice right after my yoga class on these mornings, before I "start" my day. This would be my ideal time to practice any way, and here is my chance to do it.

It's interesting to notice how much internal resistance we've got to changing our habits, isn't it?
Even though the logical part of me says of course I want to practice every day and I've got all of the good reasons for it, there is something inside of me which keeps resisting to cooperate with the new way I have chosen for myself.
I can see it in so many different things during my week and this is exactly the reason why today I am recommitting to my Qi Gong challenge.
I want to be the one in charge of the things I do and don't do, to the way I act or react, and not letting my laziness or my mood swings, or to the kind of day I've had with Razi to control my actions.
It is too easy for me to tell myself oh well, today you are tired because... or today you have permission because...
But at the end of the day, it is me who is not happy with my lack of doing, and it doesn't matter how many reasons or excuses I've got.

So with great love to the journey,
today I am starting again.
Day 1 of my 100 days Qi Gong challenge.

Friday, February 13, 2015

I forgot to do my practice yesterday

All of the sudden, in the middle of the day, I remembered that I forgot to do my Qi Gong practice yesterday....
Which proves to me that 11 days of consecutive practice is not enough to set a new habit.
So today, I am starting to count from 1 again.

I'm not in a hurry, I want to do my 100 days of practice. To complete a challenge which I have chosen for myself.
And there's no point in explaining to myself why I forgot to practice, and how I was doing really well. The explanations do not change the fact that yesterday I did not practice. Or the fact that I've practiced for 11 days (+ a few more days before I actually set the challenge up) and on the 12'th day I forgot.
Yes, I practiced yoga yesterday. And yes, the yoga and the Qi Gong have same origin and same key elements:  breath combined with movement and awareness. And yes, I even sat down yesterday for a few moments of quiet, but I did not do my Qi Gong exercises. I forgot. 
I'm guessing two glasses of wine over dinner, which ended up late, didn't help me to remember, and yet, in this moment today I choose to start counting from 1 again.

Other than that, in my practice this week I felt much more connected to the exercises I'm performing and I've realised that I feel better for it.
For example, in the last month prior to this challenge I've suffered from wrist pain, probably due to inappropriate hand stand practice, and on the second day of this challenge the pain has totally disappeared and hasn't come back.
Also, I got my monthly period yesterday, right on time and without any pre menstrual symptoms whatsoever, which is always a sign for a good flow of qi in your body.
Without this challenge I would have told myself that it's ok that I skipped my Qi Gong exercise yesterday because you need to take it easy in this time of the month. And even though it is perfectly fine that I didn't do my practice yesterday, I'm still starting this challenge again.

It feels really good to have this reason to get right back to the practice, even if it is only to prove to myself that I can totally practice 100 consecutive days of Qi Gong.
No matter what.

Are you enjoying your challenge?

With love

Monday, February 9, 2015

9 Days of Practice

I am very proud of myself. I've practiced Qi Gong every day in the last week and I am loving this challenge.

Why did I need to challenge myself to spend 10 minutes of my time doing something that I love? It's kind of interesting, isn't it?

The simple fact is that publishing my challenge with you guys makes me do my Qi Gong practice. And I am enjoying every moment of it! 

After the first couple of days I felt kind of high from doing it and from giving myself some quality time. On the third day I already needed to convince myself to practice and on the following days I had to remind myself I am committed to you too and not only to myself.

The best thing that happened was that on the days I didn't get a chance to practice during the day - I practiced at night time, before bed. So because of this challenge I actually took 10 more minutes before getting in the sack to practice Qi Gong. Without this commitment I would have totally said to myself 'ah, never mind, tomorrow is another day'. And it feels good. It feels good to do the excercises and it feels good to hold my commitment.

My mission for the last week was to just practice, without giving too much thought to how it feels or whether I am actually manipulating my Qi. And that was great because I practiced no matter what, even when I felt like it was purely physical and my mind wasn't there.
And for sure I got the benefits of that practice, even when my mind was trying to trick me into quitting.

Other good things which happened last week -
On the days when I felt like I needed a midday nap, instead of doing my practice and other things around the house, I had a nap and rested WITHOUT any guilt.
Because whatever else happens, I KNOW that I am doing my daily practice.

Also, I completed TWO of my other projects which I have started some time ago and "didn't have time for", just because all of a sudden I felt inspired to work on them again (I completed the second out of three tasks in a mindful art journaling course I'm doing, and I finished two crochet pillows for our lounge !!)

I am aware that this is only the second week of my 100 days challenge, and I am not setting myself any other goals just yet, because my mission for this week is to just keep going.
Keep doing what I already know is good for me.
Like the yoga master Sri K. Pattabhi Jois said, do your practice and all is coming.
And if I feel like it, and the muse hits me again, I will complete some other projects, and if not I still will have practiced Qi Gong every day of the week. :-)

So how about you?
Feel like sharing about your first 9 days of practice?
I'd love to read your comments here or on Facebook.


Sunday, February 1, 2015

No more excuses - and a new challenge

When I got pregnant with Razi I somehow stopped writing for this blog.
And I have millions of reasons why and how it just didn't work out, and today - I'm choosing to write again.

I'm choosing to commit to my own happiness again.
To strive consciously towards the better feeling emotions and to give myself longer stretches of joyous times.
I'm talking about those moments when I feel so happy I can barely contain all that love. When my eyes get all teary from excitement, and I KNOW it is all good.
These are the moments I wish to experience more of, instead of the ones filled with things I "need" to do, guilt for not doing enough and feelings of low self esteem.

So I am writing this today in spite of the excuses.
And in order to help myself get back on track, I chose a new challenge for myself:
100 days of Qi Gong.

I practice Qi Gong, but not regularly.
And I love this practice. It is simple, doesn't require too much effort and is very very effective.
It is calming, gets the blood flowing, healing and much more.
And surprisingly enough, to actually get its benefits, you have to practice...
It is not enough to know it, I have to practice it :-)

I know I can practice 10 minutes a day.
There is no preparation needed, I already know exactly which breathing and visualising exercises I am going to be doing, so all I need to do is to take a moment for myself (when razush is asleep), stand up and practice.

Would you like to join me?
My goal - perseverance 
I have already made countless of resolutions in the past couple of years and started too many projects which are waiting for me to get back to.
So what I really care about at the moment is the daily practice, and not so much what the actual practice is.
Just the act of doing what I know would be beneficial for me and choosing to give it time - that's what I need right now, to follow through.
(And then the benefits of the actual practice on top of that)

Do you feel like developing a new habit? and doing that thing you've been thinking of for a while?
Now is the time :-)

My plan is to practice (without a clock) 10 minutes a day for 49 days in a row,
Then to rest for one day,
Then to practice for another 49 days in a raw,
And then to rest for another day.
Together - 100 days of happy practice
(As I learned from the Spring Forest Qi Gong)

I'm excited :-)
I've practiced today and planned my daily practice so I wouldn't have to think about it (and have another excuse for not practicing)
And the count starts tomorrow!

Don't forget to tell me what's the challenge you chose for yourself and to set a reminder on your phone. 
I promise to keep you updated

Lots of love

My cutest excuse

Saturday, January 31, 2015

נגמרו התירוצים - ואתגר חדש

איכשהו קרה שכשנכנסתי להריון עם רזי הפסקתי לכתוב לבלוג.
ויש לי מלא סיבות למה ואייך שזה לא הסתדר לי, והיום - אני בוחרת לכתוב שוב.

אני בוחרת שוב להתחייב לאושר של עצמי.
לחתור באופן מודע אל הרגשות הטובים יותר ולהעניק לעצמי פרקי זמן ארוכים יותר של רגעי אושר.
ואני מתכוונת לרגעים האלה בהם אני מרגישה שמתפוצצת מרוב אהבה. שהעיניים שלי דומעות מרוב התרגשות ואני יודעת שהכל בסדר.
אלו הרגעים שאני רוצה לחוות יותר, במקום את אלה שמלאים בדברים ש״צריכה״ לעשות, ברגשות אשם על שלא עושה מספיק ובהערכה עצמית נמוכה.

אז אני כותבת היום למרות התירוצים. ועל-מנת לעזור לעצמי לעלות שוב על הגל בחרתי אתגר חדש:
100 ימים של צ׳י קונג

אני מתרגלת צ׳י קונג. אבל לא באופן קבוע.
ואני אוהבת את התרגול. הוא פשוט, לא דורש יותר מדי מאמץ והוא אפקטיבי ביותר.
הוא מרגיע, מזרים את הדם, מרפא ועוד הרבה יותר.
וכמה מפתיע, כדי באמת להינות מההשפעה החיובית שלו, צריך לתרגל.
לא מספיק לדעת אותו. אני צריכה לתרגל אותו :-)

אני יודעת שיכולה לתרגל 10 דקות כל יום.
אין צורך בשום היערכות מוקדמת, אני כבר יודעת בדיוק אלו תרגילי נשימות והדמיה אבצע ובאיזה סדר, ככה שכל מה שעליי לעשות זה לפנות לעצמי רגע (כשרזוש ישן), לעמוד ולתרגל.

רוצה להצטרף אליי?
המטרה שלי - התמדה
כבר החלטתי כל מיני החלטות בשנתיים האחרונות והתחלתי יותר מדי פרוייקטים ששוכבים מובסים ומחכים שאתפנה אליהם שוב.
לכן מה שחשוב לי כרגע זה בתכלס התרגול היומי, ופחות חשוב לי מה. עצם העשייה של מה שיודעת שהוא טוב עבורי ושאני בוחרת לפנות עבורו זמן - זה מה שאני צריכה כרגע, לסיים את מה שהתחלתי (ואז בנוסף גם התועלת של התרגול עצמו)

בא לך לפתח הרגל חדש ולעשות משהו שכבר מלא זמן חשבת עליו?
עכשיו זה הזמן :-)

התכנית שלי היא לתרגל (בלי שעון) 10 דקות ביום במשך 49 ימים ברצף,
לנוח ליום אחד,
ואז לתרגל שוב במשך 49 ימים,
ושוב לנוח יום אחד.
ביחד - 100 ימים של תרגול שמח
(כפי שלמדתי מצ׳י קונג יער האביב)

אני מתרגשת :-)
תרגלתי היום ותכננתי בדיוק את התרגול היומי שלי, כדי שלא אצטרך לחשוב יותר מדי (ושלא יהיה לי עוד תירוץ לא לתרגל)
והספירה מתחילה מחר!

אל תשכחו לספר לי מה האתגר שבחרתם וליצור תזכורת בפלאפון.
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